Since Windows paths are known to be weird and currently not handled at
all (outside of relative paths that just happen to work), I figured I
would add a windows specific implementation for parsing absolute paths.
It should be functionally the same, of course there's always a chance I
missed an edge case though.

This should fix
- #10849

Note that there are still some cases that will probably break the
current implementation, namely local drives that do not have a drive
letter assigned (not sure how to handle those). There's also UNC paths
but I don't know how important those are at the moment (I'll allow
myself to assume not at all)

Release Notes:

- N/A